Date Lab: They had so much in common. Then the topic of Kanye West came up. - The Washington Post

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Photos courtesy of the daters

Lisa McFadden is 57 and a management and program analyst at a child welfare agency. She is seeking someone who is “Christian, faithful to women, caring and giving.” Forrest Daniels is 57 and leads a team of health-care professionals. His type is “an attractive, athletic, physically fit woman of color.”

While some go Zoom, others amble at a more leisurely pace. Well over a year into the pandemic, neither of this week’s Date Lab participants had ventured into the brave new (frequently underwhelming) world of virtual dating before meeting on-screen for this column. To hear them both tell it, neither were particularly itching to do so.

“I have not been dating. No particular reason. No one was interested in me, or I didn’t see anyone that I was interested in,” said Lisa McFadden, a 57-year-old management and program analyst at a child welfare agency. “I would love to be married, but up to this point, it hasn’t been in the cards for me.” Her match, 57-year-old Forrest Daniels, had been very passive in dating but also extremely busy. In addition to his job leading a team of health-care professionals, Forrest sits on the board of two nonprofits — a homeless shelter and a food pantry — and has been taking care of his 84-year-old mother, who moved in with him during the pandemic.

Lisa and Forrest used an identical word to describe the role of their potential mates: someone who would enhance their lives. They also had the same response in their Date Lab profiles to the question regarding their funniest-ever dates: too long ago to remember. They’re both physically active and Christians, as well. So much about their lives and attitudes aligned. Would the stars, too?

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“It was a light conversation,” Lisa said of the 90-minute date. Forrest agreed. “I can’t take it that seriously, and I don’t think I allowed her to take it that seriously,” he said. “She laughed. We kept it light.” There’s that verbal overlap again!

While not eating the food they’d ordered for the date (Outback Steakhouse for Lisa, Mediterranean from a local spot called Momma Maria’s for Forrest, both consumed after they’d hung up), they were shepherded to a divergence by none other than Kanye West. Forrest discussed his taste in music, suggesting some artists to Lisa that she hadn’t heard of. However, she said, “Kanye West was one who I am very much familiar with but not into his music. Or him.”

“I don’t always agree with Kanye,” Forrest said. “I think he’s struggling, but he’s going through his journey as a Christian and I appreciate his honesty. I had mentioned him to her. He’s got this Sunday Service group, and they do some beautiful stuff, I think.” After the date, he sent her a link to one of West’s Sunday Services.

Were the two bound, as the West track goes, to fall in love? Hmm. “I found him to be a nice-looking gentleman,” Lisa said. “Did I have butterflies or did fireworks go off? No, they did not. But it had nothing to do with him. It just didn’t happen that way, perhaps because it was done virtually. Maybe face-to-face, I might have had those feelings. I do believe that love is something that can be developed over time.”

For Forrest’s part, Lisa’s career and participation in the National Council of Negro Women impressed him. (Lisa did not mention her NCNW affiliation in her application or during our interview, which speaks to her investment in the work over its ensuing bragging rights.) “She’s a decent woman,” he said. Twice. He also called her “a very nice woman” twice. The date he described as “fine” — twice.

Lisa had indicated in her profile that multiple ex-wives was a no-go for her, but that rule turned out to be subject to change. “It wasn’t a red flag,” she said of Forrest’s two divorces, explaining that because the relationships were long-term, he did not exhibit the impulsivity that she associates with serial marriages.

Still, the two live over 90 miles from each other in different parts of Maryland (Waldorf and Cambridge), and Forrest’s busy schedule would allow only a short window of time if they were ever to meet up. “That’s a day trip for me,” Lisa said of the potential trek. “If he had more flexibility and free time, then it wouldn’t be a problem.”

They left things vague. Lisa was unsure where this initial meeting would lead, while Forrest said in our interview that he didn’t see them dating. When I pointed out that he did exchange numbers with Lisa and communicated after the date, Forrest laughed. “She doesn’t know my blood type, but she’s got my number. It ain’t that deep,” he said.

Regardless of how fleeting their association would turn out to be, Forrest wanted to impart his deep respect for Lisa. “In the world of covid, we need to be doing more about encouraging each other,” he said. “As Stevie Wonder sings, love’s in need of love today.”

Rate the date

Lisa: 5 [out of 5].

Forrest: 4.

Update

Lisa and Forrest communicated after their date, but Forrest’s current priority is caring for his mother.

Rich Juzwiak is a writer in New York.

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